Bud Uglly Presents: The Biggest Java Ball on the Web
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Subject: Bid to purchase Java ball
Date: Fri, 26 Dec 1997
We at IBM have been reviewing our position as the grandfathers of IT, and have recognised the need to become involved with some of the youngsters. After all, as the popular singer Whitney Houston said, "The children are the future". In accordance with our policy, we have acquired Lotus and substantial shares in NetObjects in the past few years, as well as forming a strategic alliance with Sun.

However, we have not done anything really funny yet, and since we recognise a certain frivolity in the emerging generation, we know that humour will be a key to our survival in the next millenium. That is why we believe that part of our strategy should be to buy shares in your Java Ball. We should like to offer you $17,000,000 and a development partnership, details of which may be discussed at a face-to-face meeting.
IBM Management

Subject: rotating ball
Date: Sun, 08 Feb 1998
great stuff can,t wait till 31december 1999. thanks.

Subject: the Java ball "ooooo"
Date: Sat, 7 Feb 1998
Sometimes they ache as if it is unscene and sometimes i feel obscene and want to show my balls. What can i do? please help me. p.s. I need big java balls like yours! sincerely, the guy with balls.

Subject: Your Ball
Date: Fri, 6 Feb 1998
It's fun for the entire family, it's just plain cool, it's very enjoyable. Thank you very much for making that ball, i had a great time.
Gary Thompson, age 18

Subject: Damn.
Date: Thu, 29 Jan 1998
I was looking around your web site and saw the big java ball. I said to myself "damn, that's big." So in walks my sister, and she says "damn, that's big." Damn.
heart, clay

Date: Sun, 4 Jan 1998
Wow...thats one big ball...
Dominius Mookpiloh

Subject: My ball is huge
Date: Sat, 20 Dec 1997
I looked at your java ball, and I just wanted to let you know that mine are bigger. I crawled up on the desk and held mine up to the monitor and they were at least twice the size. Did I mention that I have a 13" monitor set to 12800x10240 resolution? It's pretty frickin badass.
Ben Lerman

Subject: Big Java Ball
I've got a 1024 by 768 pixel screen on a 17" monitor -- I looks as though your ball could be bigger than it appears on my display. Is its size limited by some absolute physical constant, or is the existence of an even bigger Java ball possible (even if only in principle, however improbable such a thing might seem to us at present)?

If I change my settings or get new equipment, will your ball grow?

I know a guy who would like a bigger ball or two -- how can he make my (er, I mean, HIS) ball(s) bigger?

Is there a way to use Java to make other things bigger as well?

Thank you,
self-conscious near Seattle.

Subject: About the Biggest Java Ball
The Biggest Java Ball is much more impressive than the Smallest Java Ball. I don't care what anyone says - size is important...

Subject: yeehaw....
If we could just git one of these suckers on our krispy, dead web site, we wuld utterly rock!!! Is this like, you know copyrited?
Meri Kotlas, Lead Bit Strangler, VisionFactory, Inc.

Subject: Java Ball
FINALLY! A useful Java Applet!
James W. Martin III

Subject: ball
ooooooooh ahhhhhhhhh how exciting

I saw your HUGE Java Ball! It made me think of the Harlem GlobeTrotters.....hmm.? Now, That's unnatural.

Oh, No! I feel myself being transformed by Your Java Ball! I'm turning into something unnatural...... ugggggg....... help........... uggggggggggggg....

"Jinkies Wilma....Where's Scooby?"

Subject: The Biggest Java Ball on the Web
Wow! It's a big java ball! This is what the net's designed for! Keep it up! :) Actually, it really does look like quite a bit of work went into making that thing. It really is cool.

Subject: the big ball
You guys really have big balls, the biggest I've ever seen. Thank you for changing my life.
B. Connellan

Subject: about your ball
It's better than a ball of lava! I love the biggest ball of Java so much that I'm adding it to my links page.

Subject: Are you ballsh*tting me?
Please make your Java Ball bigger so that I can finally start using my scroll bars (scroll balls ?).
Eric Hop

Subject: tamagothic eggs are bigger
I surf on my mobiltelephone and even my tamagotchis egg is bigger!!! (ofcourse I don't own a mobilphone yet, it just sounded funny)
Sam Gabrielsson

Subject: Ball
The only opportunity left is The Biggest Horizontally Spinning Java Ball on the Web. As the accepted masters of Web things would you like to do it or can I

Subject: Ball
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo! My browser is crappy and won't show me the Java Ball! I wanna see it! I'm going to go drown my sorrows in a big cup of Java!!! Boo hoo hoo!!! Reddy1234@aol.com

Subject: Ball Feedback
The Biggest Java Ball on the Web Ate My Balls!
Mike Wooldridge

Subject: Ball
Thank you for proving that Java has the potential to create serious and useful applets that will forever change the way we use the Internet.
Edwin Maier

Subject: The biggest java ball on the web
Oh, guys, you have made an impressive work. I think you're a step ahead on the future. if we had more people with your vision of the future, the world would be much better. I almost had a heart attack when I first saw the "Biggest Java Ball on the Web". now, everyday I get connected only to see the magniloquent "Biggest Java Ball on the Web". I wonder that I will never have such a so expressive form of communication...
-leandro dos santos-

Subject: Ball
We at the Post-Hermetic Temple of the MetaGnostic Exemptus believe your big ball to be a diabolical conspiracy to over throw the entire planet.
Thank You.
Allen Williams

Subject: its very very red
liuke the big ball the liottle ball is very red I sad to myseven yer old ' "hey thats really red" and she said ,"Daddy how much more red could tht ball be/" and i sauid,"none. nonemore red" and she cried and I drank some mor and stormed out of the house. i hadda ball, now you do
Aadam Jacobs

Subject: I feel inadequate
My balls are too small, and your web site is way too funny!

Subject: normal sized java ball
I am amazed!

Subject: big Java bal
it iss too big the collors dont blend make it sow thae do

Subject: JAVA BALL
stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopid.
Don Gander

Subject: java ball
I was suprised at how round your ball was, it is also very big.

Subject: Ball Sizes
It needs to be bigger. Make it much bigger.

Subject: hey i have an unnatural desire to communicate my feelings to you about the biggest java ball on the web!
im trying to learn java right now and i hope that some day i will be able to create my own large java ball!

Subject: Broke Click
By the way, I click on the giant Ball and hurt myself. Good jobb!

I Have an Unnatural Desire to Communicate to You My Feelings About the Biggest Java Ball on the Web
If seeing "The Biggest Java Ball on the Web" has somehow stirred up feelings deep inside you, please feel free to let us know at: About Your Ball

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