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Welcome to the Paradise Web Theater:
Please select which feature you would like to view and also select your seating preference. Currently, the movies at Paradise are only about 15-20 seconds long. We are hoping that as soon as everyone runs right out and gets a direct connection to the internet, we can increase the length of our features to maybe a full minute. Well, except perhaps during peak hours.

During the Film:
Please refrain from smoking. However if you must smoke, for god's sake, try not to sit near the lady with the really big "poofed up" hairspray-smelling hairdo.
If you have purchased a large soft drink, be sure it is not blocking an aisle and that the wheel locks are firmly engaged.
Do not shout , yell, scream or say something like "Oh, oh, watch this part, this is really really cool".
If you would like to bring your preschoolers with you so they also can enjoy the feature, don't.
It is a federal crime to divulge the ending of any of the features at the Paradise Web Theater.

Legal Disclaimer:
Bud Uglly and the Paradise Web Theater, are not responsible if you get gum on your shoes. Paradise Web Theater is also not liable if you buy a large coke and get a hernia carrying it to your seat. If you go tripping on somebody's feet 'cause it's really dark in the theater, please don't come crying to us. Paradise Web Theater is a trademark of Cineplex On-line. OK fine, it's not really any such thing.

Alvin Multimedia
Netscrappy 7.3

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