Paradise Web Theater

Now Playing On Screen 1 THE FRANKFURTER	Now Playing On Screen 2 THE TERMINATOR
Now Playing On Screen 3 LITTLE WOMEN	Now Playing On Screen 4 EARTH AWARENESS

Welcome to the Paradise Web Theater: Please select which feature you would like to view and also select your seating preference. Currently, the movies at Paradise are only about 15-20 seconds long. We are hoping that as soon as everyone runs right out and gets a direct connection to the internet, we can increase the length of our features to maybe a full minute. Well, except perhaps during peak hours.

During the Film: • Please refrain from smoking. However if you must smoke, for god's sake, try not to sit near the lady with the really big "poofed up" hairspray-smelling hairdo.
• If you have purchased a large soft drink, be sure it is not blocking an aisle and that the wheel locks are firmly engaged.
• Do not shout , yell, scream or say something like "Oh, oh, watch this part, this is really really cool".
• If you would like to bring your preschoolers with you so they also can enjoy the feature, don't.
• It is a federal crime to divulge the ending of any of the features at the Paradise Web Theater.

Legal Disclaimer: Bud Uglly and the Paradise Web Theater, are not responsible if you get gum on your shoes. Paradise Web Theater is also not liable if you buy a large coke and get a hernia carrying it to your seat. If you go tripping on somebody's feet 'cause it's really dark in the theater, please don't come crying to us. Paradise Web Theater is a trademark of Cineplex On-line. OK fine, it's not really any such thing.