Microsoft Facial Tissue & Tennis Ball Corporation
(Formerly Microsoft Vaporware & Sharkskin Shoe Corporation)

Ceo Gopher - Bill, Promises To Build New Corporate Headquarters
Last week Ceo Gopher Bill began the implementation of a bold new plan to build the Microsoft Corporation world headquarters out of all the leftover Tennis Balls at the Newberry plant. Bill claims that Tennis Balls and Facial Tissues have excellent insulating properties which will be badly needed, especially since a foundation of Jell-o is considered by many to be too flimsy to support a multi-level, billion dollar complex.

Dressing Like A Clown, Nothing New To Bill
Voted executive most likely to blind other employees at Microsoft Corporation, Ceo Gopher Bill says that , although it's a lot of work to go the extra mile, it's worth it when clients turn around and just walk out the door.

Microsoft Corporation Fourth Quarter Earnings
Due to Bill's many zany ideas, Microsoft Corporation didn't actually make any money this quarter. In a company meeting Monday, Bill tried to convince Microsoft's employees that being paid in Tennis Balls or Facial Tissues is better anyway.

Microsoft, Don't Buy Our Tennis Balls

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