Getting the Most Out of Your Visit

Taking a scooter ride through Hell© offers the opportunity for many people to enjoy the natural splendor of the park. As you enjoy your visit please keep in mind these simple rules and regulations.
Keep Hell Clean. Trash receptacles are conveniently located throughout the park. Remember, your garbage, is your garbage.
Help Prevent Hellfires. Fires in the park are no joke. Be sure to extinguish all smoking materials as you leave, including; campfires, cigarettes, toupees, small children and ducks. Let's keep Hell from burning down.
Scooter Breakdowns. If your scooter breaks down during your visit, just stand there.
If You Catch Fire. Although rare, visitors have from time to time been known to "burst into flames" for no apparent reason. Should you happen to be the victim of this unfortunate occurrence, keep in mind that fire extinguishers are conveniently being held aloft in many handy locations by used car salesmen.

And remember, this is not just your own personal Hell, it's for all to enjoy.
(Duh... click the scooter)