Where do they get the "blue raspberries" used for Blue Raspberry Jell-o?
-Jell-o Chick-
It's a little inhumane. They take regular raspberries and just choke them until they run out of air.
-Spanky-

I went and downloaded some free fonts. Now that I have them, what the HELL am I supposed to do with 'em??
-Ima Moron-
Hey, why not mix 'em up real good and write some ransom notes?
-Spanky-

Former President Gerald Ford seems a lot less clumsy now that he is no longer in office. Why is that?
-simian-
As I understand it he finally stopped chewing gum.
-Spanky-

Sparky, On your #36 questions, you said the two Chinese words mean "say that again and I'll wash your mouth with soap", actually the two words have no meaning when they are put together. The first character means "to lift" and the second one means "to open." Just wanted to clear that up.
-Phat@$$ (if you don't know by now I'm Chinese)-
Oh, that's what I meant.
-Sparky-

Where does the sun go at night?
-anonymous-
In my garage. You should see my car upholstery.
-Spanky-

One of my cats coughed up a rather large hairball. Is there a market for such things or should I just throw it away?
-M. Smiley-
Hey kids, be sure to hang on to all those cat by-products, Christmas is right around the corner. With just a few pipe cleaners and some wacky googly eyes, you'll be able to fill your entire list in record time. (and cheap too!)
-Sparky-

Are you two ever going to have baby onions? Would they be scallions, or those little onions I get with my martini?
-anonymous-
Ha, so you're the drunk that's been eating all our kids!
-Spanky-

In order for onions, like yourselves, to obtain features resembling eyes and mouths, did you have to undergo (a) plastic onion surgery (b) severe bulb trauma (c) mutation due to pesticide ???
-anonymous-
No. We borrowed some Mr. Potato Head© parts.
-Sparky-

Dear Spanky,
How can you let Sparky decide your future?!? If I were you, I'd ditch him and find a place in the world where you can be appreciated. After all, all females rock. Go be the individual you are. You go girl!!!
-~me~-
I've tried but every time I squeeze my head out of the browser, it crashes.
-Spanky-

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
-MoleStank-
Only after he counts to a hundred and hides behind the tree, nobody ever looks behind the tree.
-Spanky-

A News Worthy Question: The Miss America Pageant Officials are looking for a Real Journalist to interview the contestants. Also, for the first time, contestants can wear two piece swimsuits. Here's my question, where did Spanky get that lovely pink bow?
-Matilda-
That's not a bow silly. That's a birthmark.
-Spanky-

What is the average life span of a horney-toad?
-Sage in San Angelo, Texas-
Dear Sage, According to my "Horny For Dummies" book, it's about three years. But were you aware that the French Horn was originally invented for mixing tropical drinks?
-Spanky-

You Know how they say "Only One Gram of Fat Per Chip" on those commercials? Well, I weighed a chip and it was only one gram. What does this mean?!?!
-anonymous-
It means an extra hour on the stairmaster.
-Spanky-