Hey! my face.Hey! my face. Sparky and Spanky:
Go On Vacation:
In the lovely Wisconsin Dells

Hey, We're On Vacation!

Yes, it's that time of year again. We've packed our bags, got our vacation check and we're off to the fabulous and scenic Wisconsin Dells! Here's a quick tour of all the amazing things we'll be seeing for the next two weeks. First stop, before we even check into our motel, we'll be taking a climb up Oconaluftee Mountain, so we can grab hold of our butts and get a panoramic view of the entire Dells area. Oconaluftee was named by the Indians and means "I should stand here and goose myself." Three or four minutes of that and we'll be running down the northern side, jumping in our car, and whizzing off to the hotel so as not to miss the 4:30 check in time at, Phabulous Phil's Phlaming Fireworks Roadside Inn & Charhouse. Unpacking, After whipping our clothes all over the room, setting the alarm for 2:25 AM, and hiding all our money under the TV, it's off to the ice machine for a quick refreshment. The pool looks as inviting as always, but us am busy, no time swim. Besides, pool temperature is usually about 1 degree. So it's into the Pinto and off to the boat rides! Boat rides are the Dells most valuable natural resource and far be it for us to miss a single one. As a matter of fact, when the Indians first came and settled in this area of Wisconsin they called it "Shicona Wonahehee" which of course means "I should buy a boat and move here." If there's anything more thrilling than a boat ride, somebody should glue it to a baseball bat and hit me with it. The wind in your hair, the gentle splash of water on your face, the smell of gasoline and the high powered roar of a V6 engine, boy, beer doesn't get any colder than this! Enough with the boat ride, so much still to see. Rock City is the high point of any Dells vacation and should not be missed. Once inside this sprawling 2 acre natural wonder (only $19.95 per person) we'll be making a beeline for the main attraction, The Elf on the Stairs. Thrilling for young and old alike. While you're there, I also recommend seeing the, Elf on the Sidewalk, the Elf by the Pop Machine and the ever popular Elf in the Men's Room. Half an hour at Rock City is enough elves for almost anyone, so it's of to do a little Deep Sea Diving with some old diving guy. There are so many wonders to behold at the bottom of the Dells river basin that we're planning to spend at least 15 minutes here. The old guy is a professional and we always feel safe in his capable hands, not to mention we almost always come away with a little extra cash from the aluminum cans we pull up from the murky depths. The Dells are such a rich and wondrous place with so much to see.... so it's off for another Boat Ride. Captain Darnell's Boat on the Rock is not to be missed and the Dells just wouldn't be the Dells without it. Enjoy drinks and a corndog on the promenade deck and watch as mini-golfers challenge each other in a daring battle of wits. (Capt. Darnell's is also the 7th hole for the Putt-Putt Mini Golf) After a coupla' minutes of that nonsense, it's back in the Pinto to be whisked off to the amazing, Dog Picture Museum & Tatoo parlor Foundation. Usually chock-full-o old people, it's a great place to see hundreds of historic pictures of dogs and it just happens to be the only place in town where you can get a Geritol flavored Slurpee. As I'm sure you're aware, you can only look a paintings of dogs and old people so long (sorry it's not actually paintings of old people but real ones), so after a quick dinner at Chief Joe's Souvenirs and Eats, it's time to Wind Down and close out the day. And what could be more relaxing than a shuttle ride around our lovely planet.

See ya in a couple few years!
- Sparky & Spanky -